February 20 2020

Nod and Smile

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When you have someone that just keeps talking when you are trying to focus, you have a couple of options on how to handle it without offending that person.

Nod and Smile

One of my favorites is the treatment I often get when speaking to someone who likely knows very little English. Often, when speaking to someone, they will just nod and smile then go on about their business. This is my signal that they either don’t understand what I am saying or are possibly pretending they don’t understand me. I often get the feeling in this case that they really do understand and for whatever reason just don’t want to engage. If the person is an employee who is obviously working, this might be their way of not getting in trouble with their boss for chatting on the clock. I find myself doing the same thing these days when either I don’t understand what they are saying because they are using another language or are speaking with a very heavy accent. Sometimes, I just plain don’t hear them and I really get tired of asking nice people to repeat themselves just because I am getting older and do hear as well as I used to.

No need to be negative, if you can’t hear or don’t have anything nice to say, zip your lips, nod and smile.

Wear headphones

If others are being noisy around you and you really need to focus on the task at hand, try wearing headphones. They need not be fancy or noise-cancelling or anything to help block the distractions. You don’t even have to use the headphones to listen to music or an audio book or anything at all. Sometimes just having your headphones on or in lets those around you know you are not waiting for someone to engage you in conversation. I have different playlists on my phone that I choose depending on the need at the time. If I am reading or writing, I don’t want to hear words when I listen to music, they distract me. I am also more than a little afraid I will burst into song and embarrass myself in front of others by singing along with the music. I keep a playlist of wordless songs to listen to when I write. I keep another playlist of up-beat and energetic songs with words to exercise, clean house, or long-distance drive to as they will keep me awake and engaged with the songs when something without words might well put me to sleep.

I can also admit to those of you who are reading this that I have, on occasion, been guilty of turning my music off and hearing the things those around me are saying while oblivious to the fact that I may be listening in. This I learned from my kids when they were teens. Adults are way too willing to believe kids these days are being rude and tuning them out with their music and earbuds. But sometimes they too are just listening in to hear what we might be saying about them.

So, the moral of this story, is always have music of some sort as an option on your phone or laptop. Always carry some sort of headphones with you or keep them in your desk at work. Also remember to keep these tools charged so they won’t let you down in your time of need.

 

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Posted February 20, 2020 by Karen Beidelman in category "Learning", "Planning", "The Joys of Aging